I missed an opportunity years ago. It was disobedience. God had done a mighty work in me. I had lost about 100lbs…and it was all God. I’ve spent my life struggling with my weight. I remember as a young girl, like 7 or so, my mom put me on a diet. I wasn’t fat, but I had a little extra weight. I don’t know if it was because it embarrassed my mom or if she just didn’t want me to have a life where my weight would create difficult circumstances for me. My food was always restricted by her, up until I was about 15. Then, I moved back in with my dad, but I had become so self-conscious of my weight that I stayed on a diet. I struggled with my weight through high school, my twenties and early 30’s. Always searching for something that would get me to an “acceptable” weight. People, I struggled!!
My walk with God became very intense in my mid 30’s. I was so on fire for God. I had such a desire to obey Him. During that time, He had me give up TV, read the bible cover to cover, pray for hours at a time and I loved it so much!! Then, He had me focus on how I treated my body. I had sexual relations with men in my 20’s that left me full of shame. Full of shame. That was the first thing God convicted me with. So, I became celibate. Then, it became the medicine I took. I was on an anti-depressant. God told me to stop taking it and I stopped cold turkey. Due to the intense side effects, this was not the type of medicine you just stopped, you are supposed to step down. God made sure I had none of the side effects of just stopping…praise God! Next, it was about what I ate. He wanted me to fuel my body, not feed it. The way I ate completely changed. So much so, that I was asked to cook healthy meals on a women’s retreat that was focused on Proverbs 31. Show the women that healthy could taste good. Next, it was getting my body in shape. I began working out, got a trainer and completely transformed my body. And God blessed my obedience with the 100lb loss. I was supposed to use that experience in a ministry. He even gave me the name of it, “My body, God’s rules.” I got so excited, wrote up an outline of a women’s ministry to start. And then…I did nothing. God gave me this amazing experience and testimony and I did nothing with it. I look back and I’m disappointed in myself. I have felt I let God down, let myself down. I wonder sometimes what God could have done with that ministry. I think of the women that could have benefited from the wisdom God wanted to share through me, the freedom from strongholds in their lives. And, I’m filled with a feeling of regret. Now, I’ve gained some of the weight back, I’m not in the same shape I was in, and I don’t eat as healthy as I know I should. It feels so far away, so difficult to get back to where God had taken me, and I have regret because of it. I wonder if I had been obedient and started that ministry, would it be different now. Would I have maintained “God’s rules” over my body? How much more could He have done in my life and other women’s that had the same struggle that I did? I will never know…
Like me, can you look back in your life and see all of the missed opportunities, missed something God had for you. I look back and this stands out as one of my bigger moments of disobedience, but there have been other times as well. When I did something I knew that God was telling me not to do, only to regret it because of the consequences that came down the road. Again, that word regret. I can honestly say, regret always follows my disobedience…always. The world fights so hard to stop us from being obedient to God. We get so easily distracted, never enough time, we can be lazy and we have our idols. God, I pray that I am sensitive to your leading and have a heart to please and obey you. And I pray the same for you.
You are my friends if you do what I command. – John 15:14
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” – Luke 11:28
For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. – Romans 5:19
Do you want to be busy with the things of this world? Or do you want to live a life of obedience to God? Reaping the spiritual blessings He has for you no matter how difficult the ask from Him may be? Sometimes the asks can be intimidating, even seeming impossible. Can you believe that all things are possible with God?
Which Voice Will You Follow? 