The Perfect Lie

Have you ever been told you are a perfectionist? I have. And unfortunately, challenge accepted. I spend so much time thinking about what other people’s expectations could be so that I can exceed them, so they can see me as perfect. Why? If I’m being completely honest and transparent, I need them to not see my flaws. Simple as that. I have this elusive desire to be seen as perfect. It is exhausting. Trying to be perfect, for everyone, is like running on a hamster wheel. You can’t meet the goal of perfection, but you never stop trying. Why do I have the belief that me, myself and all of my flaws are not good enough? What’s so wrong with my flaws? Why do I try so hard to hide them? Do I even know they are there anymore? Or is that the whole point of the perfect lie? If you start to believe you can be perfect, what do you have to take to the throne of Grace? How do you kneel before a perfect Love if you are trying to be Him? Whoa…and there it is. Perfectionism is a sense that we can rely on only ourselves. It is pride, deep rooted pride. All the compliments…”Aww, you think of everything.”…”Aww, what would we do without you.”…”You are so talented…smart…funny…” Those compliments are the energy source for our hamster wheel race. Don’t get me wrong, the compliments are kind and well meaning…if received with any humility at all, recognizing that any good thing in us has come from the Father. Otherwise…energy source…hamster wheel. Maybe I need a t-shirt that says, “I am full of pride, please don’t compliment me today.” ….I’m just imagining the conversations that stem from that one…LOL!! Anyway…Let’s face the truth, we need to be open with ourselves about our flaws. I’ll use my pride as an example. I am in utter awe and have a deep respect for someone walking in humility. They amaze me and they are beautiful to me. I’m drawn to them, I want to sit with them, be a part of their lives. So why do I believe the lie that I need to be perfect, there is no humility in that. Something that amazes me in others, something I find absolutely beautiful, I don’t chase after for myself. It took writing this to fully admit to the level of pride that I hide behind. (Thank you, Father!) So, what is my walk missing if I don’t face my pride, lay it at the Father’s feet and surrender it to Him?

I want to stop believing the perfect lie. Allow God to lead me to see my flaws and allow Him to lead me on a journey to overcoming. Or, let God show me that this is how He made me and show me my flaw through the lens of Perfect Love. Either way, it is a God story, another brick in my foundation and another step into the life He created me to live.

Each time He said, ”My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. – Galatians 1:10

So, you have a choice. Keep believing the lie and exhaust yourself chasing perfectionism. Or stop hiding them and fly your flawed flag. Carry them to the throne of Grace, surrender them. Our weaknesses are a stage for His strength and power. And no one can author a better testimony than Him!