I wish…

I wonder how many times I’ve started a sentence like this in my lifetime.  Probably way too many.  Then, I wonder how starting a sentence this way has affected my life. I can say that I’m truly grateful for all that God has provided to me and my family. But, if I wish in my heart, can I be truly grateful?  And if I’m not truly grateful, how easily can I be taken to a point of being unsatisfied?  How quickly can I be taken to a place where I don’t trust God to provide?

I grew up not having a lot, but having everything we needed.  My husband grew up with very little, where needs were met, but sometimes barely.  He looks around at our home and says that he never thought he would have such a place to call home.  I look around and wish I had a better kitchen, that we had a pool, that we lived closer to our church.  My husband looks at our home in wonder and gratitude.  I look at our home and want to make changes.  Please know that I’m grateful for our home.  But, I wish… With just those two words, our home becomes less than in my eyes.  When I think about this, it makes me sad.  This home that God provided to my family is exactly what we need it to be.  It doesn’t need to be more.  God provided. The world provides all of these shiny distractions that lead us down a path of wanting more, wanting different, not being satisfied. Which can leave us disappointed.  If we could take just a minute and truly look at all God has provided, truly look with eyes that can see. Can we see the love of the Father, even when the world says we have “nothing”. Sometimes I wonder if I would be more grateful if I had less.  Then, would God’s provision be more amplified.  What if I was hungry and had no way to get food, but then food showed up? What if I had no home, but somehow, I always had a place where I could lay my head at night.  What if I had lost my parents at a young age, but throughout my life I had people in my life that shared their wisdom, showed me love, gave me discipline and accountability, invited me to their home on Thanksgiving and Christmas? Could I see then? Would I see then?

The truth is, I don’t think I need to become a pauper to have a heart of gratitude. I just want eyes that see the hands that provided. See all that I have and not on what I don’t have. Truly be grateful that what God has provided and have a heart that says, it is enough. I want to share with a heart of generosity in times of abundance. I want to be grateful in anticipation of God’s provision in times of need.

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! – Luke 12:24

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. – Matthew 6:31-32

So, is your choice to look around and wish for things you don’t have? Or, will you choose a heart of gratitude that what you have been provided is enough? Will you choose to believe that your heavenly Father will provide for your every need? Can you live a life of confident anticipation that God will show up in your time of need? That can be a hard one. So, then, will you believe that His word is true?